Just in Time

Sunday, March 13,2011
Today is Our 1 year Wedding Anniversary

For those who have been wondering where "we've" been lately, I apologize but my husband took me out of the daily grind of hospital visits, driving and kids to a tiny get away, just him & I. It was - magical.

So here I am! Currently, sitting on the floor near the only outlet where I can plug in my pump in my brothers living room. My brother, Nick, lives in San Francisco about 1/2 hour away from the hospital by public transit. It's 11:41 pm and I got here about 1/2 an hour ago. His roommate, Isabelle, walked out and asked if I was hungry. It was a godsend. I found out today that the cafeteria at the hospital closes at 7pm on the weekend. 7 pm is when the NICU shift change happens and the parents get kicked out for an hour. 7 pm is when I planned on eating dinner. 7:30 pm is when I had a Dr. Pepper, bottle of water and small bag of popped chips (not baked, not fried. popped - so it said on the bag) and a pudding. Thank goodness for pudding.

I digress. We left Sacramento this morning (thanks Mom & Dad for our gift by the way!) and headed for home. Arriving at 11 am, we picked up the kiddos and headed to San Francisco to allow the kids to see their baby sister - FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER! :) They were extremely excited. Juliette was, by far, the most excited. Followed by a close Jake & Tayla who were really both just excited to watch "Open Season 3" that we got from the RedBox machine in the van.

We arrived at the hospital around 2 and had a game plan. Nic would take Juliette in first while Tayla, Jake and I sat in the family lounge (tiny room with 2 couches and a tv that has the 'snow' effect on every channel) and waited. We allowed for time to teach her to scrub in and then gaze at 'her baby'. She came back about 20 minutes later with daddy and you could hear her before you could see her. "HEY GUYS, COME ON LETS SEE THE BABY!" Much to her disdain, it was now Jacob and Mommy who were going to go in. 2 at at time sweetheart. "Oh fine".

I took Jacob back, explaining not to go near other baby cribs, talk to other families or ask questions too loudly. I showed him how to scrub in with the brush up to his elbows, to clean under his nails with the pick and then dry off. "Which baby is ours" I smiled and took him over to Cayleighs BLUE CRIB! Yes, thats right folks, she is out of the plastic tub.

Sidenote: The nurse, Casey, told me yesterday,during one of the numerous calls I made, that Cayleigh was being moved into a blue crib. She didn't need the warming bed and 'surgery ready' bed anymore. She also said that she had decided to take Cayleighs little black boots off. She stated that when she checked her skin (as they often do with these little ones) she noted that both ankles were really red. She didn't like that so she called the orthopedic intern and had them take a look. I asked if they'd need to resize her casts since those are supposed to be molded from these boot things. Casey explained that the casts stretch and that, if needed, they will definitely resize those too. She doesnt think it would be a problem so I'm good with that. I trust this nurse.

Jacob was in awe of how small she was. Lots of 'awe' and smiles. It warmed my heart to see my Bubba so taken with this tiny little person he'd never met. He tells me he will protect her. I say good. Especially from boys momma. Ok son. I pat his back. He asks about all of her wires, about her stats, what each color number represented, what the feeding is for, how it works, who is her nurse, etc. I was pretty impressed. I tell him he should be a doctor when he gets older and he can take care of little babies like Cayleigh. He seems happy with that thought. :)

After about 1/2 hour I tell him I need to let Sissy have some time now. He looks a little disappointed as I think he could have easily stayed and stared at her for hours on end. Stroking her little head, patting her little belly and arm. It was so sweet. He asks if he can give her a kiss and I suggest kissing his hand and putting it on her forhead, and he does. He says bye to his baby sister. I love you Cayleigh. I tell him she loves him too, and we walk out






Next is Tayla's turn. Nic tells me that when she is done, he wants to go back and have his holding time with Cayleigh. I will be staying the night with her - for how long, I'm not certain - but I do know that God is in control and we will figure something out.

Tayla and I go back and I show her the scrub in routine as well. She does very well and quietly asks me questions about other babies. She sees a few babies, Jaiden (the little boy next to us) catches her eye and she says he is too cute. He is a very, very cute baby. Come to find out from his mother, Desiray (spelling?), that she found out at 4 months pregnant that his intestines were in his chest cavity. At that time they suggested abortion. She said that was never an option for her. She said that she would have this baby and that if the Lord wanted His angel back he could have him but that she & her boyfriend would simply trust in Him. What else was there to do? She mentions to me that alot of people were praying for Jaiden (and I thought instantly of all of you) and how powerful prayer is. She says that alot of people lighted candles for him (not sure what the candles are for - Catholic maybe?) and that he had several times where he was near death. Low and behold, Jaiden and Desiray will be going home some time this week. GOD IS GOOD

Tayla finds Cayleigh (she, too, asked where she was)and sits at her crib. She tells me she knows this is Cayleighs crib because of the sign. Casey, the nurse I like, made a crib sign for Cayleighs bed. I wanted to share it because I love it - and better still - Tayla loved it. :)



Tayla proceeds to sit on a chair by her sisters crib. I give her a little more slack and let the side of the crib down a bit so she can lean in closer to have a better look. Tayla says she is tiny. Then asks if she is bigger than when she was born. Yes, I say. Oh, well then she isn't really too tiny. No, I guess not - but she is smaller than alot of other babies. Ok, she says. Then Tayla begins asking about the stats on the monitor. She wants to know what the numbers should read and I give her general ranges. I should have thought about that ahead of time - Tayla tends to fixate on things. So, for the remainder of her time (between looking at the baby and singing to her I mean) she was looking at the monitor to make sure her sister was ok. *sigh* She's a worry wart sometimes. She reminds me of her mother.



Tayla stroker her little head and sings her a song. Amazingly enough, her heartrate of 180 dropped down to 160's when Tayla was talking to her and stroker her little head. The nurse had told Tayla to talk quietly and not to touch her too much. I think Tayla did a pretty good job. She seemed unphased by all of the machines and gadgets but I suppose we tried to prepare her for that beforehand. She's seen other pictures and understood Cayleigh had alot of wires hooked up to her. What I dont think she was prepared for was how small she was.

We leave the room and head into the lounge so daddy can have his holding time. The kids battle with these two Asian kids and their family in what to watch on the television. My kids want to watch Aladdin, the Asian boy who is on a chair his grandfather is holding for him to change the channel, wants to watch Cartoon Network and some movie about boys who play a game and end up in space - like jumangi only with robots. Jumangi with robots wins and my kids sit quietly. Tayla altogether ignores the television and makes cards for the other babies and their families. "I hope you feel better soon" with a smiley face, written in pencil and numbered & dated on each one. You gotta love that child. :)

Nic finished up and came to get Juliette and I so that we could lay hands on Cayleigh and pray before he left. We did (juliette was very excited she got to see 'her baby' twice) and then took the kids to the parking garage to get my things for the stay. Amanzingly enough, after yelling to one of the kids not to run too far from the car in a parking garage I hear "SAM?" being yelled. "YEAH?" I yell back to the voice, who I'm pretty sure is saying my name, coming from a person that is very obviously not on our level of the garage or anywhere to be seen. Nic walks over to the edge of the parking garage and sees Nick and Allyson. They've come to visit Cayleigh. They, too, haven't seen Cayleigh.

They come up to our level, Nick grabs my bag o' stuff to carry back to the NICU, and I kiss everyone goodbye. I wish my husband a happy anniversary and kiss him another 100 times (smelled his shirt a few times) and then Nick, Allyson, the bag o' stuff and I head to Cayleigh.

As we're walking to Cayleighs room I ask Allyson if she knows how to get to the NICU. Allyson works at the hospital as a graduate student in the building next to this one. She says yes, but only because of my blog. It makes me smile.

We get up there and Allyson and I go in first. Well, I asked who wanted to go in first and she handed Nick her Jamba Juice so I assume she chose her. LOL :) I have Nick wait because only 2 can be at the bed at a time. I show Allyson the scrub in procedure and lead her to Cayleigh. She tells me that Cayleigh is far more beautiful that any picture she's seen of her (in my own words). She is taken back at just how amazingly beautiful this baby is - and I don't say that because she is my baby - I say it because she is. I tell her that most of those pictures have her face half squished because of the bed, or she's being held up with the startled look because she was woke up from sleep. She is a very pretty girl - God did a great job on this kid.

I leave her and go get Nick. They can see her together I tell myself. I show him the scrub in procedure and tell him not to get too close to her please. They are standing with her, I snap a picture and then I leave to go potty and talk to my husband.



After meeting back up again, I walk them out and say goodbyes. Allyson gives me instructions on the public transit bus to get to Nick's apartments. She tells me where to go, the one to get on, how much it is and where to get off. Nick gives me the password to his apartment and says he'll leave the door open.

The entire night I was with Cayleigh she barely desated once. I held her the entire time. She,maybe once or twice, went into the 80s on the O2. I just repositioned her and she was just fine.

Nic and I skyped a bit too. The nurses found this to be really cool, coming over to see him and talk to him. The nurse tonight I like alot too. She's terrific. She tells me all finds of cool stuff about physical therapy on Cayleigh, her meds, her feedings, positioning her, etc. Its really great to have 2 great nurses in a row. I wish I would've caught her name. If I see her again, I will.

Nic was reading Cayleigh a book on Skype and I hear people laughing. They enjoy hearing him read the book - Cayleigh enjoyed it too. We said our goodbyes and I stayed there, holding Cayleigh another 2 hours. At 10 pm I left and headed out to venture to the great unknown in the rain.

So, here I am.. no longer pumping, having dumped the honeynut cheerios, made macaroni cheese my brother came out and offered me (you can't say no to mac and cheese twice - and i already said no to the roommate so..you know...my hands were pretty much tied) and I'm finally finishing this blog so I can go to bed.

I hope you all enjoyed

PS Cayleigh swallowed once tonight. The nurse saw it too.
:)

Sometimes, you gotta save the best for last.

PPS Please pray for continued progress in Cayleighs developmental areas including moving/stiffness in joints, suckings and swallowing, less secretions, 'normal' oxygen and heartrate levels and progress in every other area of her little life as well. Please also pray for Nic, the kids and I to be sustained in all of this as well.

Thank you all, so very much, for the outpouring of your love. CONTINUE TO PRAY PLEASE - through the good times and the bad. (though, good times are pretty terrific)

goodnight all



She stands there and