Bittersweet

Saturday, April 09, 2011
Slumber Party

Tonight I sit here, not pumping, but instead laying in a pulled out makeshift bed/couch thing that lines up next to another one on which my husband, aka daddy, aka my very best friend, aka my rock, aka Nic is going to be sleeping. On the other side of his couch thing? Cayleigh in her crib.

To say this room is tiny would be a gross understatement. But, we must persavier through this - with many, many prayers asked for - for the next two nights. We are across the hall from another NICU room, down the hall from the West wing, down the hall/around the corner from the North where she was. The nurse comes in to check on her/us every so often. She just told us she'll be back at midnight. Yippee *sarcasm to be noted* They've (and when I say they I mean different people in different departments) been in and out all afternoon.

We got here just after 12 after dropping Juliette off to my brother & his girlfriend Allyson for the next two nights. Tayla and Jacob are with my mom and dad. We took the Muni bus/train thing here with our bags for overnight and some snacks in hand. When we arrived we were told the room wasn't open yet. So we packed our stuff next to Cayleighs crib in the NICU room and waited. Finally the room opened up - at 3:00 roughly and we were getting ready to move in to the room. Unfortunately, 3 is when she's supposed to eat so that got delayed until 3:40 which threw us all for a loop.

We're all equipped with machines and whatnot but its still a bit scary at first. By now I'm not quite as excitable as I was earlier, but I'm sure I'll get there. I feel like I've been nothing but anxious lately. Nervous, excitable, overly cautious - all things I'd really appreciate prayers to overcome through Christ's strength and peace. I'm so, so glad Nic is here. I couldnt do it without him..and I say that, of course, after having the Lord helping me and even giving me the tiny bit of strength I do seem to have first.

She's over there, making her little grunty noises right now. She's been up since noon. My mother and father in law, along with Nic's aunt Sue, were here this afternoon and left just a short time ago to catch their flights home. It's bittersweet. My husband doesn't get emotional much but you can tell he was sad that they were leaving, likewise I'm sure. I know Cayleigh misses them too. She was up the entire time they were here. She's still up right now. It's a prayer answered but of course Nic and I are a bit worried because she's been up this long straight without much sleeping. Please pray we both have peace, wisdom and patience.

So we're here and will be until Monday morning. We're really hoping we get to go home on Monday. That's what we have heard from the past few nurses and other people so.. we shall see. It all depends on if we have the equipment we need to care for her before we go. It's going to be a trip..taking her home. Away from this place, away from a hospital, away from it all. And I'm not going to lie that its all very overwhelming right now but like my mother in law said, it will all be second nature to me in no time.

Please pray for us. Pray mostly for Cayleigh.. that she maintain excellent stats, tolerate her feeds well, have no rashes or skin breakdown (a little red around her leg creases earlier),be free of illness and sickness, awake (but not TOO awake lol), have increased moving and flexibility, and that she be given the ability to swallow (and suck).

That's about it for me.. I'm going to be up again in an hour and a half so... goodnight all!