Let There Be Life

Mark 10:52 "And Jesus said to him, "Go, for your faith has healed you."....."
Friday, February 25, 2011

I wake up and start pumping (and not iron) and call to check on my Cayleigh bug. The nurse, Linda, answers the phone. I don't know her. She asks me which baby I am checking on and then for my 'secret number' aka bed number. I read it from the bracelet I still wear on my hand and she says OK Mom. She tells me bad news first. Cayleigh has had 6mls residual from this last feeding. My heart sinks a little. She only had 2 at her 2 am feeding, and 1 at her 5 am feeding. I ask her if she's drawn for jaundice. She says no. I tell her ok, that we'll be up & confirm that her next feeding is at 11:30. She says yes, provided she doesn't have a residual over 6.5 ml or, by doctors orders, she will have to 'hold' the feeding for an hour. Basically, delay it. I tell Nic the news and we are both kind of downhearted. For some reason I feel like that number is wrong. The nurse says she had taken a big poo too. She tells me that Cayleigh had a really big poo and that she'd lost a few ounces. Down to 5lbs 2 ounces when she weighed her. I wonder how this could be. She had gained alot of girth at the last measurement. I say ok, we'll be up. We hang up.

Today Nic, Juliette and I made the trip to the NICU. Nic & Juliette went to park the car and let me out at the front of the Patient Pavillion. I walked to the desk and the security guard started looking for my sweethearts name on the list...I checked my phone 11:31. I tell him that I'm about to miss my daughters feeding. I point to the badge I need on the desk and reach for it. I tell him I'm sorry for being rude but I've got my badge and I have to go. He says ok. I quickly, well as quick as a person who had surgery 8 days ago can shuffle her feet, walked to the elevator. 2nd floor. Ding.

I get out, make it through the NICU doors that had recently opened without having to wait for the buzzer, sign in, bypass the hand washing station and 'run'. Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle.

I make it to room 11. I see my sweetheart. She's under the light and on her left side. She looks insanely silly in those dark black sunglasses. The nurse sees me and opens the door. Baby in crib 1's daddy is standing by her plastic dome. I hear them talking about her going home today. I feel overjoyed for them. I say a little prayer for them and head to wash my hands and run them under the warm water. I wash them, use a sanitizing wipe on my phone and then wash them again. The middle aged, short blonde haired nurse tells me that she won't be Cayleighs nurse today. She introduces me to Linda.

Linda is a short, long blonde haired, older woman about my moms age (lol). She's standing at crib 1 and tells me she will be with me shortly. I ask if I can take Cayleighs temp. She says ok. I take her temp, putting finger in her little hand and talk to her. First thing I say is daddys message. Daddy is here, but he cant come upstairs because he is with Juliette in the lobby. But he loves you. I wait. 98.2. A good temp for under the armpit. I tell the nurse that I'm going to go ahead and change her diapy. Poo again. :) It's a happy time when there is poo because it means her little system is flushing out that jaundice. This time its not that dark merconium (?) but more of a dark, seedy poo. That means mommas breastmilk is working. I remember seedy, yellow poos when I breastfed Jacob. Its a healthy sign. Progress. I'll take it. All the while I'm talking to Cayleigh and telling her about Jesus, how He's promised her healing. I look, for the first time, and notice that above her right leg (the stiff one) there is a dark birthmark. I try to wipe it off just to make sure. Linda comes by and I ask her if she thinks this is a birthmark. She says that it is. Its brown. I tell her at that moment that it's confirmed. I continue changing the diaper and move on to cleaning her cord. Linda looks a little puzzled

I'm cleaning Cayleighs little lips with saline, although Linda has already taken care of this because they looks terrific and pink, and Linda asks what is confirmed. I tell her that the Lord has just confirmed to me that Cayleigh does not have Trisomy 18. That her leg is stiff because she was lying against me for so long with her leg up by her head. She asks if she was breech. I say yes, the entire pregnancy she was. She asks if I've received the genetic testing results yet. I tell her no, but I dont need them. The Lord has confirmed it. A little doubt tries to rise up and I squash it like a bug within an instant. Fear not for I am with you.

Then Linda says that she believes me. She thinks I will get happy news. Just then we hear the doctor. Linda says see, theres the doctor. He doesnt come over. Linda then begins the process of unhooking Cayleigh. She is working on her cannalus. The little hose thingy that pumps O2 into her nose. She tells me that she wont need that long. She says that she didnt have any apnea episodes last night. That if a baby doesnt have any apnea episodes for 5 days the can go home. I have never heard a nurse talking like that about my cayleigh. I'll take it.

She gets her unhooked and I ask if she's gotten results back for Cayleighs jaundice. She reviews the chart and says the doctor didnt order it. I am puzzled. She says that since her last results were 12.2 he is probably going to wait a day, then test tomorrow. If it comes back below 12, she is off the billirubin lights. (dang, no more song) She rambles on. I love rambling..today I do anyhow. She says that High Billirubin levels make a baby lethargic. That being under the UV lights makes a baby drowsy. I say like a tanning bed? She says yeah. I tell her God has just confirmed it again. She isn't lethargic and not moving because she is ill. She just had high billirubin levels. Firs time I'm hearing of it. She smiles.

12:09. Finally, I'm holding Cayleigh. I talk to her about Jesus. We pray. She is sleeping the entire time. She's not a morning person, and I dont blame her. I give her several kisses. A hug for Juliette. A kiss from Grandpa Dulik. I tell the nurse that I have to share with daddy. At 12:30 I have to go and ask if she can hold Cayleigh while I exchange with daddy. She says ok. Then says Oh, its 1230 now. DANG. I pray over Cayleigh and leave. Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle.

I head downstairs. LOTS of Red Light, Green Light with Juliette in the lobby. By the way, its not yellow, its orange. Red, Green Orange. Thats how she rolls. About 45 minutes later daddy comes downstairs. I think I've heard the gates of heaven open up. Hospital lobbies and 3 year olds just dont mesh. He got to hold her the entire time. He got his fix. :)

We head to Carters. I want to exchange some of the big sizes for Preemie and Newborn. I am confident my baby is coming home soon. Oh, buy 1 get 1 free sale. We're on it.

We stop off to Target for a video & pizza (It's Friday, pizza movie night in our house) and a bike lock for tayla. Tayla is riding her bike to school now. It's a sign of being mature dont you know? Well, kinda.

We're turning onto Mountain House Parkway. For the first time ever, my phone rings and it reads "1 Cayleigh NICU:. Why does it say 1 first? Because then it goes to the top of my phonebook in my phone. Thats how I roll. My heart sinks briefly. Squashed again. Fear Not for I am with you. Hello. Hi Mrs Dulik this is Bad Doctor (okay so he didnt say bad doctor). Yes hello. Mrs Dulik the genetic test came back and (without hesitating)and its normal. I gasp for air, cry a little. He continues to tell me that he is sorry. I stop him. I say that he diagnosed based on what he thought. Maybe it was the case but the Lord has healed our daughter. We've all been praying for her and thats why its normal. He says oh thats right the Lord healed her, yes. I say thank you doctor. Ok Mrs Dulik, we're going figure out the muscle tension but the test is fine. Thank you.

My husband cries. (Dont tell him I said that). I call my dad. I try to call my mom and got voicemail. I call my sister and got voicemail. I call my aunt Jean. My sister calls me and I tell her. I hug my husband. I blog.

By His stripes, she is healed.