Thursday, February 17th 2011

Do Not Read This If You Are Having a C-Section Soon
Please Be Aware This Rarely Happens


Thursday, February 17

10:30 a.m. Nic & I arrived at Dr. Savage's office for our weekly NST (non-stress test). This is basically just a 20-30 minute time of monitoring both the fetal heartbeat as well as any contractions I might be having.

At nearly the end of 20 minutes I notice that there are several contractions indicated. The last one I had as Dr. Savage walked in the door and it was a little uncomfortable. He checks me, not dialated at all - but he wants me to go to the hospital to be monitored.

11:30 am Nic and I arrive at St. Josephs hospital in Sotckton. With Juliette in tow we finally figure out where Labor & Delivery is & attempt to check in. No sooner had we entered in between the 'gated' double doors than we were told by the registration woman that no children could go beyond that point. Nic, Me, Juliette. Noone available to watch her - almost an hour from home. We finally decide to leave Juliette with the nurse for 10 minutes so that Nic can know where my room is at when he comes back. I get hooked up to monitors (again) and Nic leaves to take Juliette to Nonny.

12:00 ish Suddenly, I'm having pretty regular contractions. They begin coming 2 1/2 minutes apart.

12:30 The nurse comes in, she has been instructed to give me fluids. They believe that with fluids I will stop contracting - unless it's real labor. Being dehyrdated can cause contractions (I'm told)

1:00 Nurse comes in, brings a 2nd bag of fluids. This time there is some sugar in it - they've just taken my blood sugar and it was 70. She tells me the contractions may begin to slow - but at this point they are still 2 1/2 minutes apart.

1:30 Nic arrives. He's dropped Juliette off with Nonny. He's still not excited because he thinks we may get sent home. FYI 3 months ago I told Nic I'd have this baby on February 17th (lol)

2:00 Contractions are now coming 45 seconds apart.

2:30 Doctor Redding comes in (from the same practice) and checks me. I'm 2 centimeters. He says that it looks like we're going to have the baby today. Tells the nurse to prep for surgery.

3:00ish Heart sinks. I start praying. Nic calls his family, I call mine. Now Nic is excited

4:00 ish The anesthesiologist comes in. She is a small, frail looking Asian woman who's left side of her face is paralyzed. Nic and I exchange glances. I remind myself not to judge. I can barely understand her but I try to follow along the conversation. she's been doing this since 1988. That gives me some comfort.

4:55 Nic gives me a kiss goodbye. I get a sinking feeling as I'm rolled to the operating room. The hospital looks so small and old. But it's supposed to be a grade A hospital.

5:00pm The time may be of on these since I'm going back in time - but right around this point they have me in the Operating Room. It's very small, wooden floors, and its hot. I feel a little light headed. Nervous. Everyone in the room is a small Asian woman I notice. I don't feel comfortable.

5:15 ish I'm laying on the operating table and the anesthesiologist is talking to me asking if I can feel 'this'. She pokes me with what looks like a toothpick and says it should be sharp feeling. she pokes my shoulder and it doesn't hurt it just feels like something touching me. she pokes me upper stomach and it feels the same way. I don't feel like I'm numb yet though and I test this by wiggling my feet. they wiggle

5:20ish I'm still laying down. I can still move my feet, I can even move my left leg. I wonder if I'll be number soon. I think I've asked the anesthesiologist but I'm extremely tired suddenly. The lady asks if I'm ok. I don't feel right I say to her. The monitor starts flashing. Blood pressure is 70/48. She tells me to stay calm and she had given me some medicine to bring up my blood pressure. I stay relaxed since I can't comprehend what she's said. I look again at the monitor and it's back up to 114 over something I can't see. I can still wiggle my feet.

Soon after.. Dr Redding and the assistant are in the room. They're all talking amongst one another. I feel nausea. I feel spinny. I keep wondering if I'm numb. I hear the anethesiologist ask Dr Redding if he's "tested" me. I don't hear a response. Suddenly I feel a little poke. She tells me 'they've begun' and I assume that I must be numb. She tells me I will feel some pushing and maybe pinching. I do feel pushing. Dr Redding is pushing hard against my right side (he's standing on that side) as he's performing surgery. It's just him leaning against me but its heavy and I feel that. Everyone is still talking. Suddenly I feel a pinch. I feel a cut. I feel pain. My feet are moving. My left leg is moving. I feel pain. I tell her I feel pain. I say ouch. They all ask "where do you feel pain" I tell them in my stomach. They ask me what I feel. But they don't stop. I tell her I feel cutting. I feel like someone is cutting me. My leg is now lifting. I hear the Dr saying 'her leg is moving' 'she's pushing her intestines out' Suddenly I'm getting a mask over my face. She tells me this is just oxygen. I begin breathing. I dont like the mask because I feel sufffocated. I try to move my head away. Then she lifts it off. She asks am I ok. I can feel whats going on but I don't care. I do care but I cant respond. It suddenly hurts really badly again. Someone is holding my feet. I wince and I think I cry out a bit. I get the mask again. Its covering my face and she is telling me to breathe deeply. she asks me if I want to be awake when Cayleigh comes out. I tell her I do - at least I think it. I'm not sure what happened but I had a mask on my face, I look over and suddenly the nurse is showing my my baby. I can hear the doctor saying its a girl and nurses talking. I am awake. I'm just unable to react. I tell her to turn her because I can only see the side of her face. She isnt crying but she is beautiful. The nurse says its ok. She is breathing. She just needs some help. I feel pain again. It rips across my body. It burns like I'm on fire. I strain. I feel my leg kick up. The mask is over my face again. I cry to her to please give me more gas. Make me sleep.

It's dark. I awaken in what seems like seconds. I'm waiting to feel pain. It appears the surgeons are done. The nurses are moving me to another bed now. They blow up the thing I'm laying on and its like a raft. They lift me and I'm wheeled to another room. I'm alone. just the nurse and me.

Several moments go by. I'm trying remember what happened. I don't remember hearing the baby cry. I don't remember anything really except the pain. The pain hurt. I didn't hurt right now though and thats what matters. I feel like I've just dreamt

About a half hour later Nic comes in. The look on his face. I know him. He's upset. He tells me the doctor says something isn't normal with her. She's in NICU. He stays for a couple of moments and then says he is going to go back to Cayleigh. I tell him ok.

I'm left in my thoughts. Empty room. Low lights. Several beds. Machines making noise. Just the nurse and I. Waiting.